The Department for Work and Pensions is to bring in a new Work Capability Assessment that simply checks whether the ‘victim’ is alive, it has been announced.
A spokesperson for the Government said: “The Department for Work and Pensions is committed to creating a benefits system fit for twenty first century Tory Britain, where the needy are hounded to death, and where mercenary healthcare professionals declare everybody fit for work regardless of medical evidence.”
“Thanks to groundbreaking research by Iain Duncan Smith, it is now an established scientific fact that the Nazis were correct when they claimed ‘work sets you free’. And because Britain voted for freedom on 23 June 2016, the DWP now has a clear mandate to declare everybody fit for work, regardless of medical evidence to the contrary.”
“Our new Work Capability Assessment will be undertaken by healthcare professionals with no actual medical training, who will ask a single question: are you dead or alive?”
“If the victim is alive or unable to produce an up to date CV that proves they died in a DWP approved industrial accident, they will be declared fit for work and have their benefits stopped.”
“This is the will of the people as expressed on 23 June last year, which is irrevocable and must be respected, forever.”