We hate socialism except when our rich donors need bailing out, say Tories

Socialism is evil except when our rich corporate donors need to be bailed out with taxpayers’ money, the Conservatives have announced.

Speaking in Parliament, the Prime Minister said:”Nobody hates socialism more than I do, but our rich corporate donors need to be bailed out using public funds from the magic money tree.”

“For years now the Government has paid companies like Carillion to provide rip-off public services and to build overpriced infrastructure, in return for generous donations to the propaganda budget of the criminal organisation known as the Conservative Party.”

“I am gravely concerned about Carillion going bust, not because thousands of ordinary people will lose their jobs, and not because public services and infrastructure projects will be disrupted.”

“My real concern is about the potential loss of future donations from Carillion executives, which we Conservatives will need if we are win future elections against a Labour Party that now has such incredible grass-roots support.”

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