Hardline Brexiteers have slammed Theresa May’s deal with the EU over a complete and utter lack of unicorns, it has been announced.
Conservative backbencher Jacob Rees Mogg said: “In the run up to the referendum we promised unicorns and the Government needs to respect the will of the people and give them the unicorns they clearly voted for.”
“It is disappointing to find that the Prime Minister has reached a deal which makes no mention whatsoever of unicorns. Although my nanny hasn’t read it to me yet, so I don’t know all the details, I feel duty bound to respect the sacred will of the people and thus reject it.”
“I also question why the agreement wasn’t written in a more elitist language such as Latin, which upper class twits like me often use to illustrate our supposed superiority over the masses.”
Leave voter Chris Bumfield from Plymouth said: “I disagree with Theresa May’s deal because it uses correct grammar and spelling throughout, and there are no instanced of isolated words being inexplicably written in ALL UPPER CASE. What’s more, the words their, there and they’re are all used correctly, making the whole thing completely unintelligible to people like me.”
“Arrogant Remoaners claim we didn’t know what we voted for, but I am very clear that Brexit means Brexit and we want all the unicorns we were promised during the referendum campaign. Where are my Brexit unicorns?”