The country needs cold and heartless leadership in the wake of the Grenfell disaster, the Prime Minister has reiterated.
Asked whether she has a conscience, the Prime Minister moved her head robotically and said: “Well, what we need now is cold and heartless leadership to get us through this really bad tragedy that was nothing to do with Tory policies, and as the most heartless person in the country I believe I am the best person to lead Britain going forward into the Grenfell cover up.”
“I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the emergency services for selflessly accepting the low pay and needless funding cuts that my party has imposed since 2010.”
“But most importantly, I thank the police for withholding the true death toll of this unpleasant episode which happened to some insignificant people who probably wouldn’t vote Conservative anyway.”
“With any luck, the public won’t be paying attention when we reveal that hundreds of people actually perished in the fire, instead of the tens of people that the media and police are helpfully talking about at the moment.”