Tag Archives: PM

BNP were way too left wing for Britain, says Theresa May

The British National Party failed because they were too left wing for modern Britain, according to Theresa May.

Reading from a script on the radio, the Prime Minister told the country: “A number of thought criminals on the Facebooks [sic] say my policies are no different to what the BNP proposed in their 2005 election manifesto.”

“It is true that there is a lot in common, notably our shared goal of severe cuts to immigration, leaving the EU, the return of grammar schools, increased defence spending, strong leadership, and hatred of human rights.”

“But they are wrong about one thing. My Government is even further to the right of the BNP when it comes to recognising the threat to national security posed by the NHS.”

“And unlike the BNP, the Conservatives are steadfast in our determination to vanquish the NHS once and for all, as Churchill did with the German National Socialists in the Second World War.”

“And if my glorious Reich lasts for a thousand years, people will say this was my finest hour.”

Asked what she would say to undecided voters to convince them to vote Conservative, Mrs May said: “I’m glad you asked me that approved question, for which I have this conveniently pre-prepared answer to read out.”

“Vote for hate, vote to be poorer, vote to be increasingly criminalised, vote for falling education and health standards, vote Conservative.”