We can’t enter Brexit negotiations with even the remotest idea about what we’re doing, argue Brexiteers

The UK government must not go into the Brexit negotiations with any kind of plan or objectives, leading Brexiteers have argued.

Members of Parliament have demanded that the government outline their plan for negotiating the United Kingdom’s exit from the EU, but ministers hit back by arguing that this would require the government to actually come up with some ideas and a workable plan, which would be an impossible task even for a genius polymath like Boris Johnson.

Liam Fox said: “It is essential that we negotiate the best possible deal for Britain, and this means our negotiating position must kept absolutely secret, even from ourselves.”

“When our negotiators disembark the royal yacht and enter talks with the EU, it is paramount we ensure they have absolutely no idea what to do or say, or even why they are there in the first place.”

“A cynical observer might say the government does in fact have a plan, and that this plan involves the classical Tory scheme of fleecing the working class for the benefit of the wealthy, but I couldn’t possibly comment.”

Newscrasher also invited Michael Gove to comment, but he and his wife were reportedly far too busy engaging in a posh version of child-neglect to respond.

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