Electoral fraud made necessary by anti-Tory bias of public, says David Cameron

Prime Minister David Cameron has today defended his party’s massive electoral fraud as a necessary measure to counteract the anti-Tory bias of the voting public.

Speaking to the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg, Mr Cameron said: “What we have is a voting public who by-and-large do not like the ideals of the selfish shits who populate the Conservative Party.”

“This represents a hugely unfair bias against our party, and it is only right that we should try to redress this problem using premeditated and carefully orchestrated electoral fraud.”

“Together with substantial help from several of our friends who own right-wing media corporations, we were able to fool enough people into voting Conservative for us to obtain a Parliamentary majority, despite this being to the detriment of the overwhelming majority of the British people.”

Asked about the recent right-wing ‘coup’ taking place in Brazil, the Prime Minister said: “Due to the inherent global bias against parties like ours which work only for the 1 per cent, the hard-right need to find ever more elaborate ways to seize power. I congratulate the Brazilian hard-right for imposing themselves on the people of Brazil and for their immediate implementation of Osbornian austerity policies which target the poorest and most vulnerable.”

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