David Davis agrees to buy sofa from DFS at the full price

By Dorothy Hotdog

David Davis has agreed to buy a sofa from DFS at the full price, it has been announced.

The triumphant Brexit Secretary said: “I entered DFS with red lines. It was important to get a larger sofa than the last one, and pay nothing for it. I am pleased to say those red lines have been preserved and I have only paid twice as much for a smaller sofa”

“I did agree to wash the salesman’s car every Sunday for a year too.”

“We need to look beyond that at the real impact the new sofa will have on Ten Downing Street”

“Britons will now see the clear progress that has been made, and will continue to be made, as we transition from our old sitting arrangement to the new one.”

Following the loss of the three seater sofa, and its replacement with a two seater, Mr. Davis is expected to be made to sit on the floor during meetings.

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